3. Some men unknowingly are narcissistic in nature, they have this superior mentality that makes them feel they are better than everyone else. to feel among, he does and says things that are unbecoming of him. Frustrated that he doesn't pay you as much attention as he used to? Sometimes I'll get home and feel a bit prickly towards my wife and then will unconsciously use our conversation to "snipe" at her or pick at her character because of something else that's bothering me. Without much ado, lets delve into some of the reasons your husband is mean to you and nice to everyone else. When he begins to launch his laser abusive psychological attack you will be more than convinced that hes not the problem, and this will begin to make you start checking yourself to know what exactly is wrong with you. Yes, it's nice for a man to groom himself, but when he starts shaving and trimming down more than he's . But inevitably, something happens and they recognize that you are in fact a flawed human like everyone else. When there are no real issues in your marriage and your, husband is contemptible towards you, the bottom line is that, A mans behavior is somewhat hinged on his upbringing, his experiences, and the things. Try to be a supportive wife and stand by him through this trying time, while figuring out other medical and psychological means of help. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Husband Compliments Everyone But Me! In any case, it isnt quite that simple. Others are still enamored with their false selves, so it makes it far more exciting to the narcissist to get supply from these people. Two good, smart, nice people marry voluntarily, and deny it though they will, it's a coin toss as to whether they'll be married a decade later. But be prepared to listen to how he feels to knwo that there is friction between you guys and understand him. Whether this religion or way of thinking is new or has been practiced all his life, if he cant see reason, and starts treating you like a lover, friend, and confidant, then maybe its time to hit the road. I want him to look at me and say: because of you I didn't give up.". The point is to make him undestand the feeling. She told me shed run into him and hed begged her to call me. Psychopathy Linked to Gambling Addiction And It Only Gets Worse. I did hire one of the Landscapers to prune my fruit trees in my back yard. Some of this matters a lot in marriages and you need to put in extra effort in maintaining it. Both of you were fond of each other, until a few years later all of a sudden, he changed to the opposite of who he used to be. 1. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. You will begin to feel hes the best, not knowing hes another beast in human clothing. 3) He's Hurting. It's the right thing to do as they are trying hard to make a living. In the film, Bergman's husband is looking for hidden treasure in their house with the help of . Instead, reach out, expressing a desire to talk and broaching what the topic of the conversation concerns leaving it up to you. I hate to break it to you but it is possible you have found yourself stuck with a man who cares more about his needs in life than yours. Share your thoughts, share your ideas, share your experiences in the comments section below this video and lets talk about it. (Explained!). 11. Thanks for the suggestion. Any man that does not regard or respect you does not deserve you. You can see who his friends are on Facebook, and draw some conclusions on whom he might have cheated with. Or it could even be you who hurt him. There are high chances that you got to this page because you have been going through hell in the hands of your supposed loving husband, and you want to know why your husband is mean to you and nice to everyone else. Mom is mean to me but not to anyone else. There could be a more innocuous reason for why your husband is always complimenting everyone else and thats because he wants to be liked by everyone. The Shocking Psychology of, Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coaching Program: Clear the Slate. Whatever the reason could be, try to get to the bottom of it and apologize to him accordingly. They insist on things being done in their own way and make all of the, most important decisions. eg. I couldnt quite understand what was going on but when I later realized that he seemed to be a toxic narcissist, I finally figured out why he was so cruel to me and so kind to others. Yield my unsolicited advice, take a cue, and walk away from the marriage. Try to remain calm and assertive. People who dont know the narcissist well will see their nice and charming side because the narcissist cant trust that theyll feed their ego otherwise. If you find that he either makes decisions without your input, or he takes a course of action without your buy in, this is a massive sign of disrespect. Its something that took me a lot of time to get better and better at as well. I am the one who needs help, not him. It is plain and simple, really. Our loving, open, and warm goodness. Initially, things didnt start this way in your relationship; your husband was everything you wanted in a man. He wants to show his dominance at every given opportunity hence causing him to be contemptible to you. Maybe you feel that you are loved under certain conditions only, or you keep up a facade for your partner. But for me, he was cruel and plain-old mean. This takes the guilt off him and those on the outside see him as the victim, when in fact, he was sabotaging the relationship to be with someone else. Heres what you can do about it. First off, work towards increasing the grip you have over him, and try to limit the time he spends with those friends in question. Women, tend to get carried away with raising the kids, work, and keeping the family that they neglect their husbands. If he can empathize with others then as his wife you should definitely get some empathy from him. 3. I love you.". Completely different story. Whatever the reason could be, try to get to the bottom of it and apologize to him accordingly. 1. Or are they very strict about the maximum number of sessions? presence of his friends or you provoked him unknowingly. Therefore, they dont see any reason to be nice to you, unless they can see a way that doing so benefits them directly. If this is the case, I think your marriage stands a chance at redemption. But the first step toward healing is to start recognizing that you matter, that your needs and even wants matter just as much as anyone elses. And what happens when you ask him to explain the roles he played to the breaking down of the relationship? Its not personal so you cant blame them. (The Truth). He physically assaulted me again at the weekend and the emergency social worker called the police who told me they would . Here are eight warning signs that there's a not-so-nice guy lurking beneath the surface: 1. When I first met my ex-husband, I actually tried to hook him up with a friend of mine. So, this explains another reason that narcissists are so cruel to you and so kind to everyone else: because they are or could be in the idealization phase with anyone they dont know very well. be an avid subscriber of such teachings and beliefs, and thats why he acts the way he does. However, his sarcasm is cutting me to the bone. Start slow though. Your heart is rendered and torn apart. What was the experience like for you? I kept talking to him, pointing him at my friend and trying to get the two of them talking. Just enter his name and location into the background checker to rule it out. Some men may seem so strong on the outside but deep down they are really weak. You are his wife; dont let him turn you into something you are not, no matter what stage you are in your life, its never too late to leave and find love with someone who truly cares about you. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. This is quite sad, but true; the way he treats you and yells at you may stem from his background and, If properly motivated, your spouse could change his stripes and turn a new, leaf. Good guys don't walk around telling you how good they are and just expect you to . This is a deal breaker. Open yourself up a little, rather than sink into the depth of your private despair. My in laws (his family) don't like me so they are ignoring my birthday. As the spouse of a narcissist, I need to be strong and educate . We wont send you spam. Sensitive and so forth. See, when you are with a narcissist, they get upset with you for doing anything for yourself. There is too much emotional static in the one receiving the message. Women tend to get carried away with raising the kids, work, and keeping the family that they neglect their husbands. His Ego Feeds on Compliments Coming Back at Him. It is also possible that he could be taking a cue from what he witnessed at a friends place. As a wife, you should learn how to cope with your partner and manage his excesses. When I try to vent I receive the equivalent of STFU. Image credits Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash. The idea is to see the line. Its almost funny to me now, since they seemed so different but were in fact two sides of the same coin. At first, itll be little subtle insults and jabs, but before long, they will be directly mean, disrespectful and outright rude. 17. Even if the problems aren't marriage-related, a toxic spouse will expect you to solve them. But he has no sympathy when I try to talk about it and just gets mad and shuts down. What is NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming)? My new book released on March 22 . It can often take the form of giving you the silent treatment . Occasionally when controversies occur between you and him, you will start feeling you are the one hurting him, and strangely you will not be so sure of how exactly you have been achieving this. Here is what to do if your husband never tells you how beautiful you are, How Often Should a Roommate Have a Guest Over? 7. I know this sounds harsh, but it is one of the likely reasons men treat their women poorly. Being nice to other people is just one more way that the narcissist manipulates them, and in their own mind, they believe that gives them power over those people. your husband is just simply making some poor choices. Both begin to appear once a couple becomes distressed: 1. Sometimes when things get out of hand, your husband can say things that wounds your soul, even shake you at the core. Then I didnt call him. Leave any comments and questions you may have in the dialog box below. If not, there are two main two blocks to empathy. Some men employ this tactic to get their wives to pay extra attention to them. Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. Sure, our partner gets to see our best side. Sensitive, 4. Now, if my car won't start, he yells at me and says to call a tow truck. On the back of trying to make you feel jealous or flirting with other women, your husband might not be as invested in your relationship as you are or think he is. Sadness, loneliness, and anxiety. The Pre-Conditioning Factor (Brainwashing). "You are the source of my joy, the center of my world and the whole of my heart.". He Wants to Be Liked by Everyone. But the bottom line as frustrating as it is might be none of the above and can only be chalked up to who he is! Freuds theory basically means that most people have the ability to still have a positive emotional bond with someone when you are also feeling angry, hurt, or disappointed with them. This is something that your husband MUST change or the relationship is over. Before you got married, you paid extra attention to your looks, but all that changed when you get married. Thank you for reading through this piece, I hope you enjoyed it and found it helpful. Pay attention to his needs and wants so that he doesnt feel left out.
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